Hello Everyone!
So, it has been quite a while since the last posting. I am now in the beautiful Philippines! I left my home, Washington D.C on Tuesday, July 17, which was one week ago today! It is surreal to think that I feel like I have already lived an entire lifetime in the Philippines in the span of the past week, yet at the same time, I feel as though I have done nothing. So in this post, I am going to cover a few topics: Leaving home, gateway and traveling, orientation arrival, as well as placement. Enjoy!
So, I want to discuss here leaving home. Having arrived in Manila and been away from home for a week I can definitely say that I miss it, yet not as much or as little as I thought. It is not even the large things I miss the most. Of course, I miss my family and friends, yet the thing I miss the most is tied between two things: ice and air conditioning. In America, I have a constant supply of ice. Ice is in almost every single drink and drinks back home are freezing cold, always. Not here in the Philippines. Water is warm and even cold drinks aren't that cold. Further, Air Conditioning is a hot commodity here. I never realized how much I took for granted in America. While in Virginia we have hot summers, the heat here in the Philippines is unlike anything I have felt, not even on the hottest day in the States. The humidity is so thick that I can feel the moisture on every part of my body no matter where I go. There are also other hardships here in the Philippines. Most showers have little to no hot water, and that is if you have a shower (it is rare here) instead, most people use tabo for bucket showers with cold water. Another thing I underestimated was the wifi. I have been lucky that most places I have gone have had wifi, but it is nothing like the American internet. All of this being said, I do not think I could love a country more than I love the Philippines. The people here are so unbelievably kind, the food is amazing (yes they have every American chain you can think of) the landscapes are beautiful and Manila is unlike anything my eyes have ever seen. So yes, leaving home was incredibly challenging, yet the beauty of the Philippines has distracted me from my homesickness.
Traveling to the Philippines was probably one of the most brutal travel days of my life. It took me about 32 hours of traveling to reach Manila. I left Virginia on Tuesday morning and did not land in Manila until Thursday night. First, I flew from Washington D.C. to Los Angeles. Los Angeles to Portland. Portland to Tokyo. Then, Tokyo to Manila. All in all, it wasn't too bad, but my body has never experienced something like that. Even now I feel the effects of jet lag. It is hard for me to sleep the night, I am rarely hungry, and not often thirsty.
Once I arrived in Manila, the five Americans were greeted by a huge crowd of Italians in neon yellow shirts (really, AFS Italy?) Some of them came over and talked with us, we began getting to know each other. They then put a lot of us on a bus to the hostel we were staying in (Lubd in Makati, it was super nice) All of us were pretty jet lagged and we waited for dinner, which was Jollibee! It was actually really good! Then we all went to sleep. The next day all of the other kids had to go to immigration, but the Americans got to go to the US Embassy and talk with people from Public Affairs and other staff. It was actually really amazing because back home I took IB History of the Americas at school and we had done an entire unit on the Spanish American War and the Philippines and the US embassy is still the original embassy and it looks the same as it did back during the war so it was really cool to be a part of living history. We then went to lunch and were served traditional Filipino lunch which was literally so amazing. I got a coconut drink thinking it would be some coconut juice like in a glass, but when it came out it was an entire actual coconut with a straw in it, it was insane. The next few days were filled with rules and how to do well on an exchange, as well as bonding with the other exchange students. I miss all of them so much, especially Gustav and the Italians. (Have you ever truly lived if you haven't played truth or dare with thirty Americans and Italians until 3 am? I think not)
So now I am going to talk about something that was very shocking for me and made the first few days of my exchange really challenging. So, after orientation ended on Saturday night, all of us were scheduled to leave Manila and go to our families on Sunday. So, at 10 am me and the 5 other exchange students that were being sent to Zambales got in a van to go to the bus terminal in QC (Quezon City) The bus ride that usually takes 6 hours ended up taking 10 due to heavy flooding in the provinces, so by the time we arrived in Iba, all of us were drained. Now, a couple of days before I left the States I had been told that I would be hosted by a family in Iba and that my host dad was the dentist/doctor at my school. Upon arriving, I was told by a local volunteer that my host family had backed out at the last minute because they read my application and had determined that I was gay. Which, I am gay, but I purposefully did not write about it in my application due to the sensitive situation with being LGBT in a lot of YES abroad countries. Further, I did not want anyone here in the Philippines to know I was gay until I made the decision that I was in a comfortable and welcoming environment. So, to get off the bus and to have all of the staff and teachers at my school know was not a pleasant feeling. I was then taken with another girl to the home of a family whose name I do not know, however they were incredibly kind to me. As soon as I closed the door to my room that night all I could do was cry. I have never really faced any discrimination in the States for being gay. I felt incredibly rejected and all that I could think to myself is that I want to go home. That night, I went to sleep, however, I was incredibly confused. I did not know who I was staying with or what would happen to me the next day or any day after that. However, I knew that I would have to see my former host dad at school often and that everyone would know that I was gay, which made me incredibly uncomfortable. At this point in time, I now know that everyone will know that I am gay for most of my exchange, at least the staff of AFS and more than likely my new host family and school teachers, which I have come to terms with. However, I still felt incredibly uncomfortable in Zambales, not because of the family I was staying with, who was incredibly kind, or because of the local volunteers, who were also incredibly kind, but because of the situation itself. I reached out to AFS the next morning and things moved very quickly. They told me that they could move me chapters, which I agreed to do. They moved me to Cainta, Rizal which is just outside of Metro Manila, in fact, I may even be hosted in Metro Manila, but I will go to school at Cainta Catholic College which I am told has been very excited to have me and has been very supportive. There, I will be with another American, which I am excited for because all I want to do at this moment is hug my friends who speak like me and understand what I am going through. I am pretty sure I will cry when I see Kiki. In the States, she lives about 40 minutes from me and we have hung out often before we left for the Philippines. She and her host family have been so kind throughout this process. Currently, I am staying with the director of AFS Philippines, Mae, as well as her husband, Stijn, who have been so incredibly kind to me. I could not be more grateful to them for welcoming me into their home.
In closing, I would like to reflect on what this week has taught me. First, this week has taught me that my idealized views of exchange are inaccurate. I now know that this will be the most challenging year of my life, and I look forward to the challenge. Before I left the states I had this view that this year was going to be magical and all white sand beaches and crystal blue waters. While the Philippines is an incredibly beautiful country, that is not what most of it looks like. Most of it looks like real life and I do not think I understood what YES Abroad was. I know that over and over and over again they tell us that this is not a travel program, yet you can not really understand what that means until you get here. The entire time it took to travel to the Philippines all of us talked about how this felt like a long vacation for us. I did not genuinely understand the depth of my reality until I arrived. Second, this week has taught me that no matter the narrow-mindedness of some, most Filipinos are kind and welcoming people. This has also woken me up to the fact that this is not home. I will face challenges in the Philippines for being gay, and that is OK. It is apart of the reason I wanted to participate in YES. I wanted to learn about another culture, I wanted to gain a broader perspective, and this is included in that. Back then I did not know that opening my perspective would entail opening my mind to those who have closed theirs to me, yet here I am. I am not angry at that family for not wanting to host me. I am not angry at the Philippines. I am no longer angry at this point. I am only sad. Sad that I could not open their perspective on what it means to be a gay American teenager. Sad that I will never get the chance to show them my culture. Sadder still that they will never get to show me theirs. However, I will find another host family, one more open to me than them. In fact, I am glad that this happened this early on. For future YES kids who identify as a member of the LGBT community: You are enough. No matter the rejection you may feel from your host culture, you are good enough. You are not a mistake and any person would be lucky to host you. I feel like I have been through a lifetime within the span of a week, yet I have grown so much already that I can not imagine what the next 10 months will hold for me. I am excited and open to learning more about Filipino culture, not just the pretty stuff, not just the beautiful picture I have in my mind, but the real Philippines.
Well! That is all for now, sorry for such a long post. I will update soon!
So, it has been quite a while since the last posting. I am now in the beautiful Philippines! I left my home, Washington D.C on Tuesday, July 17, which was one week ago today! It is surreal to think that I feel like I have already lived an entire lifetime in the Philippines in the span of the past week, yet at the same time, I feel as though I have done nothing. So in this post, I am going to cover a few topics: Leaving home, gateway and traveling, orientation arrival, as well as placement. Enjoy!
So, I want to discuss here leaving home. Having arrived in Manila and been away from home for a week I can definitely say that I miss it, yet not as much or as little as I thought. It is not even the large things I miss the most. Of course, I miss my family and friends, yet the thing I miss the most is tied between two things: ice and air conditioning. In America, I have a constant supply of ice. Ice is in almost every single drink and drinks back home are freezing cold, always. Not here in the Philippines. Water is warm and even cold drinks aren't that cold. Further, Air Conditioning is a hot commodity here. I never realized how much I took for granted in America. While in Virginia we have hot summers, the heat here in the Philippines is unlike anything I have felt, not even on the hottest day in the States. The humidity is so thick that I can feel the moisture on every part of my body no matter where I go. There are also other hardships here in the Philippines. Most showers have little to no hot water, and that is if you have a shower (it is rare here) instead, most people use tabo for bucket showers with cold water. Another thing I underestimated was the wifi. I have been lucky that most places I have gone have had wifi, but it is nothing like the American internet. All of this being said, I do not think I could love a country more than I love the Philippines. The people here are so unbelievably kind, the food is amazing (yes they have every American chain you can think of) the landscapes are beautiful and Manila is unlike anything my eyes have ever seen. So yes, leaving home was incredibly challenging, yet the beauty of the Philippines has distracted me from my homesickness.
Traveling to the Philippines was probably one of the most brutal travel days of my life. It took me about 32 hours of traveling to reach Manila. I left Virginia on Tuesday morning and did not land in Manila until Thursday night. First, I flew from Washington D.C. to Los Angeles. Los Angeles to Portland. Portland to Tokyo. Then, Tokyo to Manila. All in all, it wasn't too bad, but my body has never experienced something like that. Even now I feel the effects of jet lag. It is hard for me to sleep the night, I am rarely hungry, and not often thirsty.
Once I arrived in Manila, the five Americans were greeted by a huge crowd of Italians in neon yellow shirts (really, AFS Italy?) Some of them came over and talked with us, we began getting to know each other. They then put a lot of us on a bus to the hostel we were staying in (Lubd in Makati, it was super nice) All of us were pretty jet lagged and we waited for dinner, which was Jollibee! It was actually really good! Then we all went to sleep. The next day all of the other kids had to go to immigration, but the Americans got to go to the US Embassy and talk with people from Public Affairs and other staff. It was actually really amazing because back home I took IB History of the Americas at school and we had done an entire unit on the Spanish American War and the Philippines and the US embassy is still the original embassy and it looks the same as it did back during the war so it was really cool to be a part of living history. We then went to lunch and were served traditional Filipino lunch which was literally so amazing. I got a coconut drink thinking it would be some coconut juice like in a glass, but when it came out it was an entire actual coconut with a straw in it, it was insane. The next few days were filled with rules and how to do well on an exchange, as well as bonding with the other exchange students. I miss all of them so much, especially Gustav and the Italians. (Have you ever truly lived if you haven't played truth or dare with thirty Americans and Italians until 3 am? I think not)
So now I am going to talk about something that was very shocking for me and made the first few days of my exchange really challenging. So, after orientation ended on Saturday night, all of us were scheduled to leave Manila and go to our families on Sunday. So, at 10 am me and the 5 other exchange students that were being sent to Zambales got in a van to go to the bus terminal in QC (Quezon City) The bus ride that usually takes 6 hours ended up taking 10 due to heavy flooding in the provinces, so by the time we arrived in Iba, all of us were drained. Now, a couple of days before I left the States I had been told that I would be hosted by a family in Iba and that my host dad was the dentist/doctor at my school. Upon arriving, I was told by a local volunteer that my host family had backed out at the last minute because they read my application and had determined that I was gay. Which, I am gay, but I purposefully did not write about it in my application due to the sensitive situation with being LGBT in a lot of YES abroad countries. Further, I did not want anyone here in the Philippines to know I was gay until I made the decision that I was in a comfortable and welcoming environment. So, to get off the bus and to have all of the staff and teachers at my school know was not a pleasant feeling. I was then taken with another girl to the home of a family whose name I do not know, however they were incredibly kind to me. As soon as I closed the door to my room that night all I could do was cry. I have never really faced any discrimination in the States for being gay. I felt incredibly rejected and all that I could think to myself is that I want to go home. That night, I went to sleep, however, I was incredibly confused. I did not know who I was staying with or what would happen to me the next day or any day after that. However, I knew that I would have to see my former host dad at school often and that everyone would know that I was gay, which made me incredibly uncomfortable. At this point in time, I now know that everyone will know that I am gay for most of my exchange, at least the staff of AFS and more than likely my new host family and school teachers, which I have come to terms with. However, I still felt incredibly uncomfortable in Zambales, not because of the family I was staying with, who was incredibly kind, or because of the local volunteers, who were also incredibly kind, but because of the situation itself. I reached out to AFS the next morning and things moved very quickly. They told me that they could move me chapters, which I agreed to do. They moved me to Cainta, Rizal which is just outside of Metro Manila, in fact, I may even be hosted in Metro Manila, but I will go to school at Cainta Catholic College which I am told has been very excited to have me and has been very supportive. There, I will be with another American, which I am excited for because all I want to do at this moment is hug my friends who speak like me and understand what I am going through. I am pretty sure I will cry when I see Kiki. In the States, she lives about 40 minutes from me and we have hung out often before we left for the Philippines. She and her host family have been so kind throughout this process. Currently, I am staying with the director of AFS Philippines, Mae, as well as her husband, Stijn, who have been so incredibly kind to me. I could not be more grateful to them for welcoming me into their home.
In closing, I would like to reflect on what this week has taught me. First, this week has taught me that my idealized views of exchange are inaccurate. I now know that this will be the most challenging year of my life, and I look forward to the challenge. Before I left the states I had this view that this year was going to be magical and all white sand beaches and crystal blue waters. While the Philippines is an incredibly beautiful country, that is not what most of it looks like. Most of it looks like real life and I do not think I understood what YES Abroad was. I know that over and over and over again they tell us that this is not a travel program, yet you can not really understand what that means until you get here. The entire time it took to travel to the Philippines all of us talked about how this felt like a long vacation for us. I did not genuinely understand the depth of my reality until I arrived. Second, this week has taught me that no matter the narrow-mindedness of some, most Filipinos are kind and welcoming people. This has also woken me up to the fact that this is not home. I will face challenges in the Philippines for being gay, and that is OK. It is apart of the reason I wanted to participate in YES. I wanted to learn about another culture, I wanted to gain a broader perspective, and this is included in that. Back then I did not know that opening my perspective would entail opening my mind to those who have closed theirs to me, yet here I am. I am not angry at that family for not wanting to host me. I am not angry at the Philippines. I am no longer angry at this point. I am only sad. Sad that I could not open their perspective on what it means to be a gay American teenager. Sad that I will never get the chance to show them my culture. Sadder still that they will never get to show me theirs. However, I will find another host family, one more open to me than them. In fact, I am glad that this happened this early on. For future YES kids who identify as a member of the LGBT community: You are enough. No matter the rejection you may feel from your host culture, you are good enough. You are not a mistake and any person would be lucky to host you. I feel like I have been through a lifetime within the span of a week, yet I have grown so much already that I can not imagine what the next 10 months will hold for me. I am excited and open to learning more about Filipino culture, not just the pretty stuff, not just the beautiful picture I have in my mind, but the real Philippines.
Well! That is all for now, sorry for such a long post. I will update soon!
This was written so well, and I’m so excited to hear about your life here this year! xoxo
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